Gingerbread Christmas Biscuits

20 Dec

As I write this I’m still in my pjs despite it being 3:30pm and eating piece after piece of gingerbread. In between biscuits, I ponder the deep lyrics to Santa Claus is Coming to Town.

Little tin horns, 
Little toy drums. 
Rudy-toot-toot 
and rummy tum tums.

Right. It’s ripe for innuendo but I won’t go there.

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Homemade Iced Vovos

19 Dec

One of my best friends, Sparky, is leaving town in a few short weeks. Sad and made sadder by the fact that he is no ordinary friend. He is my chicken pox-sharing, life long-caring, Pink Floyd shirt-wearing buddy. He is Harry to my Hermione and I wouldn’t have survived Hogwarts without him.

I’ve made him promise to join me in a nursing home when we are old and haggard. I’m hoping that’s not for another sixty years (at least).

Until then, he has to move. Eight hours away.

I don’t want to talk about it. But I do want to bake about it. When I think of food and Sparky, I think of Iced Vovos. Some of my earliest childhood memories are of the tea parties we would have together. Our Mums’ made real (weak) tea in plastic teapots and served up those luxurious biscuits. To this day I’ve never felt more grown up.

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Twitter

17 Dec

The Accomplished Woman is now on Twitter!

Follow me if you would like to hear my most mundane thoughts or if you have great compassion for me: @A_ccomplished.

 

My Father – The Teenager

15 Dec

“Hey peeps, I’ve recorded Teen Cribs for you and can I just say it was awesome.”

Who said that? 

A.) A hardcore gansta teen

B.) An over-excited girl

C.) The Captain (My dad)

My dad was cool before "I know, right?" was cool.

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The Boss

14 Dec

Just so y’all know, The Boss is an amazing person who I adore. She’s much more than the caricature I have made her out to be.

The Child however… I think it’s a pretty accurate portrayal! 😉

Life as a Sister

14 Dec

From Left: The Accomplished Woman, The Boss, The Child, The Prince.

I am a sister of the highest order as I am both a big sister and a little sister.

I know which one I prefer. It’s obvious. Big sisters have all the power.

My big sister, The Boss, was a natural dictator. We kids lived by the law of the land and the land said that The Boss was queen. She could order me to do anything and I’d smile my oversized teeth and comply with pleasure.

The Boss got all of the best roles in the family plays: Fantine from Les Miserable, Britney from Alvin and the Chipmunks, The blonde one from Abba, I could go on. I was always the dorky character, The Prince was by default the lead male and The Child played any leftover parts (generally non-speaking, always cute as a button).

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How to Iron

13 Dec

Doesn't this image distress you?

One of my beloved friends believes that the way to iron is to buy a shirt (from Woolworths or the like) and wear it straight from the packet. The thought makes me itch. Plus, I can always spot the fold marks.

Of course, I confront him. Call him out on his crime. This is how it goes every time:

“You haven’t ironed that shirt, have you?” I ask.

“What? It came pre-ironed,” he replies.

“Christopher! It is not…they do not..pre-ironed!?…ugh..I just..I can’t…why?!”

Then he smiles like the Cheshire Cat and I realise resistance is futile.

Now obviously none of us accomplished women would ever make such an elementary error. What follows is what I would say to Christopher, if I had his full attention.

Ironing is easy and important. Never forget that it’s the cheapest way to look polished.

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